


the group chat

by casuaIaffairs, mourningafter (orphan_account)



Category: Smosh
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, M/M, Smosh Games - Freeform, Twitter, gact, gact gc - Freeform, honestly there's gonna be all the ships in this, it's also my first fic, like i just put the "main" ships, mars and i came up w this randomly, smosh - Freeform, smosh texting, this is just really fucking funny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-09-26
Packaged: 2019-06-28 22:56:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 3,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15716805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casuaIaffairs/pseuds/casuaIaffairs, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/mourningafter
Summary: a look inside of smosh and smosh games's twitter group chats, individual chats, and some ideas from the gact.honestly this is just a funny ass idea that mars and i came up w. it's basically just if smosh + smosh games had group chats about random shit and them sending the gact gc's tweets and questioning us.





	1. ssg '18

_**smash and smash games** _

**ian:** hey guys i keep getting tweets about ssg help

**ian:** what the fuck do i do

**shayne:** rush film it and post it in one week boom ur welcome

**shayne:** it's 3 am now leave this the fuck alone


	2. shaymien crack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yo it’s midnight and this shit is gon be great i promise (not really i lie)

**dames:** i’m going to ask u once bitch

 **dames:** did you eat all of my fucking cornflakes

 **shayne:** c o r n f l a k e s

 **dames:** YES MY CORNFLAKES 

 **shayne:** WHEN DID WE EVER GET CORNFLAKES

 **dames:** OKAY I LIE

 **dames:** I L I E

 **shayne** : can i kashoot myself

 **dames** : not until we’re married fuck you

 

* * *

 

 **dames** : hello goodmorning i am: gay

 **shayne** : we been knew bitch

 **dames** : say that i again i fucking dare you you fucking lesbian

 **shayne** : gay say what

 **dames** : i hate: YOU

 **shayne** : wait

 **shayne** : damien oh my god

 **dames** : wait what

 **dames** : shayne?

 **shayne** : damien did you know

 **shayne** : thaT WE HAVE A FUCKING SWORD UNDER OUR BED

 **dames** : i

 **shayne** : BITCH I HAVE A S W O R D

 **dames** : you finna die bitch

 **shayne** : and you finna regret letting me have a sword

 **dames** : do you know what this means

 **shayne** : what gay

 **dames** : you’re a sword lesbian

 **shayne** : DAMIEN I SWEAR TO GO D

 

* * *

 

 

 **dames** : YOURE TONNA WANNA BE MY BES TFRIEND BABY

 **dames** : TKURE TONNA WANNA BE MY BEST FRIENDNNSNENDNDN

 **shayne** : i am

 **dames** : i regret it all

 

* * *

 

 **shayne** : wait damien do you know where my flannels went

 **dames** : we took them to mari remember

 **shayne** : what for

 **dames** : to stop your ADDICTION

 **shayne** : I DONT HAVE AN ADDICTION TO FLANNELS 

 **dames** : just kidding i threw them all away

 **shayne** : is this about the golden cat

 **dames** : ,,,

 **dames** : yes fuck you

 **shayne** : LISTEN I SAID I WAS S O R R Y

 **dames** : cue onerepublic 

 **shayne** : i hear you blasting the song in our room

 **shayne** : bitch stop

 **shayne** : bi t c h

 **shayne** : SMAIEN HAAS TOU DVETYER FUCKING STOP

 **dames** : IM FUCKING DYIGN

 

* * *

 

 

 **dames** : boze attacked me today i feel 

 **dames** : attacked

 **shayne** : no shit sherlock

 **dames** : listen bitch

 **shayne** : what 

 **dames** : if i’m sherlock that means ur watson which means im the better one out of both of us

 **dames** : i am the superior boyfriend

 **shayne** : WHAT RHE FCK

 **dames** : YOURE FUCKING GAY

 **shayne** : SO ARE YOU

 

* * *

 

 

 **dames** : I JUST SAW A CAT IM CRYING

 **shayne** : i

 **dames** : I W AN T IT

 **dames** : SHAYNE I WILL PUSH YOU OUT A WINDOW IF I DON THAVE THAT CAT

 **shayne** : this is: abuse

 **dames** : pls can i have the cat babe

 **shayne** : when did you start calling me babe

 **dames** : ,,,, now

 **dames** : BABE CAN I HAVE T H E C A T

 **dames** : i dont care if we have two already i want ANOTHER

 **shayne** : IM FUCKING PISSING NO WE CANNOT

 **shayne** : YOU CANT EVEN TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

 **dames** : babe thats you

 **shayne** : fuck you you stole my apple juice

 

* * *

 

 

 **shayne** : do you ever like

 **shayne** : wonder why people enjoy our content

 **shayne** : like we’re usually just screaming at things or each other

 **shayne** : or like casually being super gay

 **dames** : it is. three am

 **shayne** : this girl told me to block her

 **dames** : do it pussy

 

* * *

 

 

 **dames** : shakespeare was a little bitch and thats the fucking tea

 **shayne** : we’re you hanging out with boze again

 **dames** : NO I REREAD ROMEO AND NULIET AND HE FUCKUNG MILLS THEM ALL OFF LIME WHAT A FUCKING BITCH

 **shayne** : nuliet

 **shayne** : fuckung mills

 **dames** : i hate you with every fiber of my BEING

 **shayne** : LOVE YOU TOO BABY

 

* * *

 

 

 **shayne** : wait did we have a skit to film today because i’ve been lying in bed all day

 **dames** : nah ur good, im in the living room

 **shayne** : oh you are

 **dames** : yeah of course ive been here all day bc youre a sick boy

 **shayne** : oh how the turns have tabled 

 **dames** : how about you: shut the fuck up

 **shayne** : i don’t take constructive criticism sorry

 

* * *

 

 

 **dames** : i may have lost. my wallet

 **shayne** : how do you lose that

 **dames** : its easy when u have boze

 **shayne** : gasp

 **shayne** : im telling boze u thought she STOLE your WALLST

 **dames** : wallst

 **dames** : AND DONT YIU FUCKUNG DARE YOU LITTLE BITCH

 **shayne** : b i t ch


	3. the flamingo floaty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is honestly just for kennedy and kira like they'll understand the joke but basically the flamingo floaty is "evil" and it's making wes and boze seem insane rip them  
> i didnt come up w this idea man
> 
> also the typos in the texting chapters are on purpose lol

_**smash & smash games** _

**boze:** guys come outside

 **wes:** join us we have something for u

 **damien:** should i be scared

 **olivia:** hwat the fuck do you haveto show us it's 6 am right nwo

 **boze:** sHUT THE FCUK UP AND COME OUTSIDE YOU C O WARDS

 **shayne:** yeah ok im going back to bed

 **wes:** u wont die

 **wes:** u probably wont die

 **joven:** we're not coming outside

 **courtney:** it's too earky for thsi bs you guys

* * *

 

 **boze:** it's the afternoon now get the fuck outside before i kill u guys

 **mari:** damn boze harsh :/

 **wes:** j o i n  u s

 **noah:** they're,,,,, just in the pool staring at me help

 **courtney:** i am: done

* * *

 **keith:** i just woke up what the fuck did i miss

 _seen by 13 people_  

* * *

 

 **wes:** the flamingo told me that u all need to get inside the pool

 **damien:** wh-

 **boze:** get inside the pool

 **olivia:** i cant even swim

 **olivia:** neither can boze wtf is she in a floaty

 **boze:** yes

 **boze:** the flamingo

 **boze:** now join us


	4. locked and loaded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> noah snipes the gact

_**sniping time** _

**jenna:** alright coward you ready to finally snipe us or what

 **iqra:** come on noaj just snipe us already

 **noah:** who's noaj and why the fuck do you want me to snipe u guys-

 **jules:** hey u cant legally curse

**jordan:**

**jenna:** okay that's it i challenge u to a sniping battle in fortnite playground mode, lets go.

 **jenna:** right here right now bitch

 **mars:** just do it

 **noah:** i don't even understand why you want me to do this

 **noah:** i also don't even play fortnite

 **jay:** hey bud u wanna be attacked

 **jay:** if u dont snipe i'll attack ur ass

 **jess 1:** i will personally fly to america to be sniped

 **jess 2:** so will i

 **eve:** s n i p e  b i t c h

_noah left_


	5. jenna gets blocked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finally getting my block!!1!1112!

**smosh:** what's up with you and getting blocked

**jenna:** i just wanna be blocked man please

**smosh:** jenna seriously, we already got shayne to block you

**jenna:** i want them all to block me

**smosh:** ok but why-

**jenna:** I AM READY TO BE BLOCKED JUST DO IT

* * *

 

_**smash & smash games** _

**smosh:** ok guys @bigmomboze wants you all to block her and she won't stop arguing until she gets blocked

**shayne:** i already blocked her tho


	6. shaymien and coze gcs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they’re all gay

**shayne** : i just saw courtney walk into a wall is she like

 **shayne** : i don’t know

 **shayne** : oKAY

 **boats** : do you want the real answer

 **damien** : uh

 **boats** : because god no

 

* * *

 

 **quartknee** : guys my username

 **boats** : we gotta breakup

 **quartknee** : wait no

 

* * *

 

 **shayne** : guys damien has boze’s phone

 **court** : you know that if he has her phone, it’s just us three

 **shayne** : i didn’t think about that 

 **damien** : you dUMB

 **court** : domestic abuse this is bullying

 **damien** : i

 **shayne** : yeah bitch im turNING YOU IN

 

* * *

 

 **court** : i’m taking boze to court i’m suing her

 **damien** : your own girlfriend?

 **court** : she told me that dogs aren’t cute

 **boats** : THEY ARE UGLY

 **shayne** : RING RING BITCH WE’RE GOING TO COURT

 **shayne** : I WANT TO BE THE JUDGE YEEHAW

 **damien** : wait no i wanna be the judge

 **shayne** : but

 **shayne** : babe this is my dream

 **court** : well your dream fucking sucks

 **boats** : yeah damien is the judge

 **court** : shayne be my lawyer

 **shayne** : no fuck you i’m going to be the police people

 **damien** : do you mean the bailiff ?

 **shayne** : fuck you

 

* * *

 

 **damien** : shayne fell asleep on me

 **damien** : awe he’s so cute

 **damien** : guys i’m really in love

 **boats** : awh y’all are cute

 **damien** : dare me to push him on the floor

 **court** : do it i fucking dare you

 

* * *

  

 **boats** : courtney almost burned the whole house down

 **court** : IT WAS AN ACCIDENT 

 **court** : LEAVE ME ALONE

 **boats** : she fuckiNG LET SHIT CATCH ON FURE

 **shayne** : fure

 **boats** : SHUT RHE FUCK UP SHAYNE

 

* * *

 

shayne was laying on the couch in the office, his head upside down. from here he could see anyone who dares walk in, and he’s prepared; he’s got a rubber ball and a steady mind. he will throw it at whoever walks in.

he hears footsteps, but stays still. his arm is prepared to throw as his eyes flicker between the door and window. out the window he can see cars and shit.

his eyes snap up when he hears the handle turn, and just like that he sits up. through the door comes courtney, and just like that, there’s a rubber ball hitting her forehead and shayne falls into laughter. she’s dazed.

”you fucking bitch,” she whispers. “this is why your boyfriend thinks you’re a lesbian.”

this shuts shayne up. “wait he thinks i’m a... what.”

and now shayne is flying out of the office, yelling at his boyfriend that he’s not a lesbian and that’s he’s a straight white boy. damien ends up falling out of his chair.

 

* * *

 

 **damien** : wait shayne just left the apartment

 **damien** : that little shit

 **shayne** : ,,, 

 **shayne** : burn

 **damien** : like court and boze’s apartment?

 **boats** : unfollowed and blocked

 

* * *

 

 **boats** : i swear to god

 **boats** : i am going to throw court’s phone

 **damien** : uh oh trouble in paradise 

 **damien** : but why

 **court** : i had my alarms on and it went off this morning and she screamed so loud it scared my neighbors

 **shayne** : mood

 **damien** : shut up lesbian

 **shayne** : WHY DOES EVERYONE CALL ME A LESBIAN

 

* * *

 

 

 **damien** : boom baybee i set up a new living room set

 **damien** : we have our tv and consoles in order and everything is neat

_sent at 3:42pm_

**damien** : forget it shayne fucking did a tornado spin and RUINED EVERYTHINGN

_read at 6:17pm_

 

* * *

 

 

 **court** : i sang to boze

 **boats** : yeah 

 **court** : you hit me

 **boats** : IM TRYING TO FUCKING SLEEP

 

* * *

 

 

 **shayne** : i wanna kick damiens ass

 **court** : thats gay

 **boats** : thats lesbian

 **shayne** : im gay

 **damien** : and i’m a fucking wolf

 **boats** : on all levels except physical?

 **damien** : DIE


	7. squad crack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> are they ever ok

**courtney:** one of us is gonna die one day during a try not to laugh

 **courtney:** i hope that it's shayne who dies

 **courtney:** that lesbian little BITCH

 **keith:** ,,,,

 **keith:** court it's 3 am

 **courtney:** ok and?

 **shayne:** why do you want me to die

 **damien:** we all do

 **shayne:** damien wtf why are tOU IN HERE

 **shayne:** even better: wHY DO YOU WANT ME DEAD

 **damien:** woah i think i heard the uh toaster go off better check on it

* * *

 **noah:** which one of you guys set the toaster on fire

 **damien:** read ✔ 10:30 am

 **olivia:** that's the third time this week damien.

 **olivia:** and it's only monday.

* * *

 

 **liv:** what if we were all on total drama island

 **liv:** if it were a live action show

 **keith:** liv where do you come up with these ideas

 **liv:** im watching it on netflix oKAY KEITH LEAVE ME BE

 **shayne:** noah would probably get voted off first

 **no:** ok true

 **corki:** it also takes places in canada

 **liv:** ur point is?

 **liv:** A GIRL CAN DREAM TOU GUSY GOD

* * *

 

 **dames:** I SAID

 **dames:** IF U WANNA BE MY LOVER

 **dames:** U GOTTA GET WITH MT FRIENDS

 **dames:** MAKE IT LAST FORVER FRIENDSIP NEVRE ENDS

 **shanye:** explain to me why we're dating again

 **dames:** love u too <3

 **shanye:** i dont

 **dames:** what

 **shanye:** what

 **noAHHHHHH:** he said i dont

 **shanye:** NO SHIT

* * *

 

 **lesbian:** hey guys

 **lesbian:** wHO CHANEGD MY FCKING NAME I MNOT A LESBIAN JESUS HCRIST

_read at 3:17 pm_

* * *

 

 **activia:** i wish i was a koala

 **activia:** or a sloth

 **corki:** that's cute

**corki: ♡♥♡♥♥♡♥♥♥♡♡♡♥♥♥♥♡**


	8. shayne's scared of horror movies, what a pussy

**_smash & smash games_ **

**shayne:** guys help im watching a horror movie alone

 **shayne:** i dont like it i regret my decision

_read at 7:13 pm_

* * *

 

 **shayne:**  ok fuck u guys if i die i blame u all

 **courtney:** shayne u over dramatic bitch

 **boze:** nice story courtney

 **courtney:** thanks i try hard to imitate cowards

 **shayne:** fuck u

* * *

**shayne:** hey damien?

 **damien:** yeah?

 **shayne:** can u come over i finished the movie i didnt like it

 **shayne:** i turned on all the lights halfway through im traumatized

_read 10:01 pm_

**shayne:**  damien dont leave me on seen u bitch

 

 


	9. more shaymien crack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gays

 

 

 **shayne:** did u take my cowbaes shirt

 **damien:** hah no what makes u think that

 **shayne:** bc i cant find it

 **shayne:** so did u take it it's a simple ass qUESTION

 **damien:** ,,,no

 **damien:** maybe it's uhh mISsInG

 **shayne:** yeah ok i'll just go take ur randy bandits shirt now

 **damien:** do it and i cut ur arms off

 **shayne:** on second thought

 

* * *

 

 **damien** : we didn’t get on the same team :(

 **damien** : i have to go against you :(

 **shayne** : damien oh my god

 **damien** : looks like i have to shove your face in the dirt again :(

 **shayne** : dAMIEN NO

 

* * *

 

 

 **shayne** : hah bitch my team is winning which means you’re losing which means i’m a winner

 **damien** : i will: murder you

 **damien** : i will: make you wish you were dead

 **shayne** : wait what no 

 **damien** : buB I WILL M U R D E R Y O U AND YOUR WHOLE T E A M

 **shayne** : DAMIEN N O

 

* * *

 

 **shayne** : i was thinking about something

 **shayne** : why does everyone think i’m a lesbian

 **damien** : because

 **shayne** : it isn’t fair

 **damien** : come love me you lesbian

 **shayne** : i

 **shayne** : what am i gonna say ?? no ??

 

* * *

 

 

 **damien** : i want to just eat plain toast

 **damien** : and lounge around in comfy clothes

 **shayne** : wait why

 **damien** : shit sucks bro

 **shayne** : but bro you have me bro

 **damien** : bro i don’t know i just feel like ugh you feel me bro

 **shayne** : dude bro do you need a hug bro

 **damien** : bro that sounds amazing

 **shayne** : bro

 **damien** : beo

 **shayne** : bEO 

 **damien** : okay fine bully me bro

 **shayne** : but b r o

 

* * *

 

 

 **damien** : i just choked on my crush

 **damien** : crush the drink

 **damien** : not like

 **damien** : okay

 **shayne** : wait i don’t remember you choking on me

 **damien** : KE EOWBDIEBEKANWOWKE

 **damien** : J HTE YOU

 **damien** : I HATE TIUD SOW MUCH

 **shayne** : love u too 

 

* * *

 

 

shayne: when we like

shayne: get married

shayne: u wanna like ,,,,, kiss or some gay shit

shayne: stop calling me and aNSWER MY DAMN QUESTION YOU FURRY

 

* * *

 

 

 **damien** : i spy with my little eye.....

 **shayne** : a dumb bitch

 **damien** : a cute boy

 **damien** : wait what

 **shayne** : what

 

* * *

 

 

 **shayne** : quick what’s your favorite song

 **damien** : like is this a legit question or

 **shayne** : it’s legit

 **damien** : maybe like idk

 **damien** : stfu by pink guy

 **shayne** : I SAID LEGIT

 **damien** : AND IM DUCKUGNG LEGIT

 

* * *

 

 **shayne** : hey dames?

 **damien** : what’s up?

 **shayne** : you’re my favorite pizza place

 **damien** : p e r i s h

 

* * *

 

 

 **damien** : there’s a cute boy at this party

 **damien** : his sandy hair looks really cute and his eyes shine so bright omg

 **damien** : i think i’m really in love tonight boys

 **damien** : wait he’s calling me over !!!!

 **damien** : we just danced and i’m literally in love

 **damien** : HE KISSED ME

 **shayne** : stop being a fucking cheesy bitch and kiss me again

* * *

 **shayne:** WHERE WE LANDING BOIS

 **damien:** god no

 **shayne:** tilted towers?

 **damien:** i will block ur number, vlock u on every social media i have u on, and lock u in the bathroom at work

 **shayne:** damien what the fuck-

* * *

 **damien:** hey after mari runs for president one of us should one

 **damien:** and then one of us becomes the vp

 **damien:** and everyone else is in our cabinet

 **shayne:** ur a genius


	10. uncontrollable lesbian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you can't control shayne

**olivia:** shayne please stop running around the office screaming

 **shayne:** SAKSAFNSLF;SADLKSLFLSDFNSKJXL

 **ian:** damien please come and get your boyfriend

 **damien:** i cant he's uncontrollable

 **keith:** just smack him with something

 **courtney:** like a chair

 **noah:** courtney no

 **courtney:** COURTNEY YES

 **damien:** shayne is what we call "an uncontrollable lesbian"


	11. apple juice thief - shaymien

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shayne thinks damien stole his apple juice yeehaw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what is this i have no clue
> 
> enjoy @ jenna

“it’s my money, and i want it now,” shayne sings throughout the office building, slamming his hand down on damien’s desk. “hand it over, furry.”

damien, leaning back in his chair, tsks. “and why do you deserve it, lesbian.”

“okay, you’ve taken it too far.”

“and?”

shayne falls into a silence before grabbing the back of damien’s chair and pushing it down. before damien can properly respond, he’s lost all balance and the chair crumples, with him crumbling to the ground. he lets out a quick scream before hitting the floor.

from the floor, all he does is groan while shayne, the absolute best boyfriend he can be, fake gasps in mock terror. “oh, dames!” he teases, falling to the ground. “are you okay, my sweet loved one?”

“you’re a bitch,” damien mumbles into the floor. “why me.”

it’s not a question, just a statement at shayne. the blonde boy shrugs. “beats me.”

he takes a seat next to his collapsed boyfriend, criss-cross applesauce style, and runs his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair gently. damien groans again, annoyed that shayne is perfectly fine with him being injured and hurt.

“now, you may be wondering why i’m here and i knocked you over. long story, short answer,” shayne tells him. “but first, to hear the story, you must repeat after me.”

“fine.”

“i am a furry, and i live in hell, so i am a satan furry.”

“i’m a motherfuckin’ satan furry.”

shayne shrugs. “fair. okay, so, long story short, boze said you took my apple juice again.”

damien finally lifts his head up, confusion in his eyes. “ex-fucking-cuse me? she said what?”

“you stole my apple juice, hoe.”

“you stole my life!”

“you stole my flannels!”

“you stole my cats!”

“you stole my sword!”

“because i don’t want my lesbian boyfriend to accidentally stab me!”

“fair point, amigo. get it? point?” shayne lifts his eyebrows over and over, and damien finally reaches up and pushes him to the floor.

“dumbass.”

shayne screams, jumping up. “aRE NOT.”

“ARE TOO.”

and then, boze’s head pops in the door. her face is completely blank and she looks bored. “look. i’mma keep it real with ya. i gave your apple juice to joven. you’re both dumbasses. stop screaming. i hate you all.”


	12. even MORE shaymien crack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> u guessed it  
> it's more gays

**shayne:** i wanna get mcdonald's. vamanos.

 **damien:** u just,,,, told me handcuffs

 **shayne:** no i said let's go

 **damien:** vámonos means let's go. vamanos means handcuffs.

 **shayne:** ,,,,

 **shayne:** well fuck u and ur knowledge

 **damien:** love u too <3

 **shayne:** i still want mcdonald's.

 **damien:** get it urself

 **shayne:** im not trusted to drive by myself anymore

 **damien:** why the FUCK not shayne what did u do now

 **shayne:** i called someone straight for crossing the street

 **damien:** what the fuck

 **shayne:** so will u get me mcdonald's

 **damien:** it's 1 fucking am

 **shayne:** UR POINT IS?

 **damien:** ok u lesbian

 **shayne:** thanks furry


End file.
